“He latches…then pulls away crying.”
“She keeps popping on and off the breast.”
“Feeding starts well, but after a few minutes we both end up frustrated.”
If you’ve experienced this, you’re not alone.
One of the hardest parts of caring for a newborn is watching your baby become upset during something that’s supposed to be comforting.
Instead of peaceful feedings, every nursing session feels like a struggle.
Your baby arches. Cries. Pulls away. Latches again. Cries some more. By the end of the feeding, you’re both exhausted.
After caring for babies with feeding difficulties for more than a decade, I’ve learned that frustrated babies are often trying to tell us something.
The question is… What are they trying to say?
Babies Usually Aren’t Frustrated Without a Reason
Babies can’t explain what’s bothering them.
They communicate the only way they know how. Sometimes they cry because they’re tired.
Sometimes because they’re overstimulated. Sometimes because they’re hungry.
But when a baby becomes frustrated during nearly every feeding, I start wondering whether feeding itself has become difficult.
One of the biggest clues is when parents tell me: “He wants to eat.” “He tries to eat.” “But he just can’t seem to stay happy while feeding.” That’s a very different story than a baby who simply isn’t hungry.
What Could Be Happening?
Imagine trying to drink your favorite smoothie through a tiny straw.
You know the food is there. You want it. But getting enough takes much more effort than it should. Eventually you’d become frustrated too. Some babies experience something similar.
Instead of feeding smoothly, they may:
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Lose suction repeatedly.
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Struggle to transfer milk efficiently.
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Swallow excessive air.
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Become tired from the effort.
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Pull off the breast to catch their breath.
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Try again…only to become frustrated once more.
Parents often think these are separate problems.
In reality, they’re frequently connected.
Sometimes Parents Notice a Pattern
One thing I often hear is: “He feeds well for the first few minutes.”
Then…The frustration starts.That makes sense. Milk often flows more easily during the initial letdown. As feeding continues, babies have to work harder to continue transferring milk.
If feeding mechanics aren’t working well, frustration often becomes much more noticeable later in the feeding.
Could a Tongue-Tie or Lip-Tie Be Contributing?
Sometimes, yes. Not every frustrated baby has an oral restriction.
But after helping countless families with feeding difficulties, I’ve found that tongue-ties are one of the most commonly overlooked reasons babies become frustrated while nursing.
A restrictive lip-tie can also make it harder for some babies to maintain a comfortable seal around the breast or bottle, increasing the effort required to feed.
Less commonly, restrictive buccal (cheek) ties may contribute as well, which is one reason we evaluate the entire mouth during every feeding assessment.
Rather than asking only, “Is there a tongue-tie?” I ask a different question:
“Why is feeding so hard for this baby?” That’s a much more useful place to start.
If your baby clicks while feeding, you may also enjoy Why Does My Baby Click While Breastfeeding?. If your baby seems hungry shortly after every feeding, Why Is My Baby Always Hungry? It May Not Be Low Milk Supply may also be helpful.
If feeding has become a battle instead of a bonding experience, don’t ignore your instincts.
Many of the families we meet have already been told everything looks normal before coming to our office. A comprehensive feeding evaluation often uncovers the reason a baby is struggling during feedings.
Families travel to the Alabama Tongue-Tie Center from across the United States and around the world for comprehensive evaluations of tongue-ties, lip-ties, buccal ties, and feeding difficulties.
Concerned About Your Baby’s Feeding?
Get a Comprehensive Feeding Evaluation
Looking for the Cause – Not Just the Symptom
One of the reasons I enjoy caring for babies with feeding difficulties is that there’s often a reason feeding has become so frustrating.
Our goal isn’t to simply label a baby as “fussy.” Our goal is to understand why feeding has become difficult. Sometimes the problem is a tongue-tie. Sometimes it’s a lip-tie. Occasionally, restrictive buccal (cheek) ties contribute to the problem.
Sometimes it’s body tension, oral motor challenges, low milk supply, or another feeding issue entirely. Every baby is different. That’s why every baby deserves an individualized evaluation.
Why We Evaluate the Entire Mouth
Many parents are surprised to learn that we don’t just look under the tongue. During every feeding evaluation, we assess how the entire mouth functions together.
That includes:
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Tongue mobility and function
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Upper lip mobility
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Suction and seal
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Milk transfer
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Feeding coordination
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Oral anatomy
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Buccal (cheek) ties when appropriate
While tongue-ties are the most common oral restriction affecting feeding, lip-ties can make it harder for some babies to maintain a comfortable seal around the breast or bottle. When that seal repeatedly breaks, babies often have to work much harder to feed.
We also routinely evaluate for restrictive buccal (cheek) ties. Most babies have buccal ties that are completely normal and never require treatment. However, after caring for infants with feeding difficulties for more than a decade, I’ve found that roughly one out of every ten babies we evaluate has buccal ties that appear to contribute to feeding problems.
If we determine they’re playing a meaningful role, we release them during the same procedure at no additional charge.
One Question I Always Ask
One of the questions I almost always ask parents is:
“What happens after your baby pulls away?”
Many parents answer almost exactly the same way. “He cries…then immediately tries to latch again.” That tells me something important. The baby still wants to eat. The desire to feed is there. Something about the feeding itself has become difficult. That simple observation often provides one of the biggest clues during an evaluation.
The Good News
One of my favorite follow-up conversations happens a week or two after treatment.
Parents often say things like:
“He’s so much calmer during feedings.”
“She’s finally finishing a feeding without crying.”
“I didn’t realize feeding had become so stressful until it wasn’t anymore.”
“It’s actually enjoyable now.”
Not every baby needs treatment, and not every frustrated feeder has an oral restriction.
But when tongue function, lip function, or occasionally restrictive buccal ties are contributing to the problem, seeing families enjoy feeding again is incredibly rewarding.
When Should You Schedule an Evaluation?
Consider scheduling a comprehensive feeding evaluation if your baby:
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Frequently pulls off the breast crying
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Becomes frustrated during most feedings
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Clicks while nursing
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Swallows excessive air
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Feeds for a very long time
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Never seems satisfied
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Causes persistent nipple pain
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Continues struggling despite good lactation support
Early answers can make feeding much less stressful – for both you and your baby.
If every feeding feels like a struggle, trust your instincts.
Many of the families we care for have already been told everything looks normal before coming to our office. A comprehensive feeding evaluation often helps identify why a baby is working so hard to eat.
Families visit the Alabama Tongue-Tie Center from across the United States and around the world because they’re looking for experienced evaluations of tongue-ties, lip-ties, buccal ties, and other feeding challenges.
Send us a message or call 205-419-4333 to schedule a consultation.
Continue Reading
If this article sounds familiar, these may also help:
Feeding Shouldn’t Feel Like a Battle
After more than a decade of helping families with feeding difficulties, one thing has become very clear to me:
Babies usually aren’t frustrated without a reason.
If your baby cries, pulls away, and struggles through nearly every feeding, don’t assume you simply have to wait for things to improve.
There may be an underlying reason feeding has become so difficult, and many of these problems can be identified – and often successfully treated.
If you’re still searching for answers, we’d be honored to help.
Send us a message or call 205-419-4333 to schedule a consultation. We look forward to helping your family.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q1. Why does my baby latch and then pull away crying?
This often suggests your baby wants to eat but is becoming frustrated during the feeding itself. While there are several possible causes, inefficient milk transfer is one of the most common reasons I see.
Q2. Can a tongue-tie make babies frustrated during feedings?
Yes. Restricted tongue movement can make feeding much harder than it should be. Babies may repeatedly lose suction, work harder to transfer milk, and become frustrated before they’re full.
Q3. Can a lip-tie contribute?
It can. While tongue-ties more commonly affect milk transfer, a restrictive lip-tie may make it harder for some babies to maintain a comfortable seal, increasing the effort required to feed.
Q4. What about buccal (cheek) ties?
Most buccal ties are completely normal and don’t need treatment. However, we routinely evaluate them because, in a small percentage of babies, they appear to contribute to feeding difficulties. When treatment is appropriate, we release them during the same procedure at no additional charge.
Better Answers. Better Feeding. Better Care.
